I put out a personal on craigslist in the ‘casual encounters’ section with the title ‘Looking For Girls to Fart On Me’

In the ad I write ‘I am a 26 year old drug and disease free white man named Stan and I am looking for girls to fart on me, all over my body but mostly my face, while wearing tight spandex pants of any color’.

I specify 18-55 as the preferred age range and say that they must shower before hand and I will return the favor.

My dick gets hard as I type out the ad and midway through writing it I start to shiver uncontrollably and my hands go numb and I start to sweat heavily and this might be an acid flashback so I hurry up and finish the ad off by saying ‘you don’t have to touch my dick if you don’t want to but I will not stop you if you try’ then I put Bensonhurst as my location and submit the ad then I get the cigar box from under my futon and take out a small baggie of coke, an AOL free trial CD, my school MetroCard and the hollowed body of a Bic pen that I’ve cut in half then empty out 2 medium sized rails worth of C onto the AOL case and start fixing them up with the metro card and before I snort the first line I check my email and there’s already like 5 responses to my ad, four of which are probably robots, so I rip the rails then click on the first response.

Author: redfishsmoking

i am a homeless drug addict from brooklyn with an obama phone and i have a crush on the nurse at the methadone clinic

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