accidentally walk in on a fat chinese kid on the toilet at the burger king on 86th street. he is shitting and eating a whopper at the same time, goddamn that’s fucking efficient. cut to 1 minute later and i’m saying ‘extra cheese and onions, bitch’ to the cashier to which he replies ‘dolla sixty nine’ cut to 80 seconds later and he is throwing a whopper at me, moist through it’s synthetic alien packaging with its viscous cheesy discharge and smelling of rotten body odor from the extra onions. the whopper weighs about 3 pounds and i decide to eat it on the train during rush hour and it’s so fucking delicious but as soon as i’m done whoofing it down i start to think about the restraining order and feel sad and i just wanna see my son one more time and see if he has the same part of his skull missing as poor old dad.

Author: redfishsmoking

i am a homeless drug addict from brooklyn with an obama phone and i have a crush on the nurse at the methadone clinic

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