On the news this morning there were stories about crazy, murderous people of various ethnicities. Then a story about crime stats and how so far this year murder rates are through the roof. Then another story about how crime stats are bullshit anyway and can be forged and manipulated to say whatever the Powers That Be want. Then a story about a puppy that was born in New Mexico who looks like a Jewish Celebrity. Then a story about a scientific research study that showed that the company who funded the scientific research study also coincidentally makes a product that the scientific research study proved was good for human health. Then a story about a 4 year old girl who was gang raped by the entire Parliament, Prime Minister and Supreme Court of India, then another puppy story and a story about what shenanigans Miley is up to these days. I didn’t pay much attention to the broadcast but it was nice to have some white noise on while I arranged and organized three terabytes of Brazilian Lesbian Ass Licking Porn on my computer.
I’m gonna kill myself this time, I swear it. But first I just wanna use the bathroom to pee. And also I’d like to perfectly arrange all the shoes in my closet by size, color and brand just one last time. Then I’m going to kill myself for sure. Although I did want to get caught up on some TV shows. And jerk off. But before I do that I should probably download the newest MomPOV porn clips. OK, so in an hour, after those are done downloading, and 2 minutes after that when I’m done jerking off, I’ll kill myself. I do tend to get hungry after jerking off though. Maybe I’ll get some taco’s first. Although I’ll probably end up overeating again, at which point I’ll be too full to kill myself, so I’ll have to smoke a little pot to soothe my fat bloated stomach. And since I’ll be getting high i might as well start watching those TV shows but half way through watching I’ll probably get horny and have to jerk off again but this time I won’t download any new mompov porn, this way it’ll take probably take closer to 5 minutes to finish instead of the usual 2, and as soon as I’m done doing all that… then I’ll kill myself.
…Although back to back jerk off sessions do seem to make me very tired. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep after. Then when I wake up, that’ll be the perfect time to kill myself. But then it’ll be time for work and my work ethic is so great and I don’t like to let my underappreciative boss down so I guess maybe I’ll just work the day out. Then when I get home I’ll finally kill myself.
But first I’ll probably have to pee again.
At McDonalds I get a big mac value meal with diet coke, a four piece nuggets plus one additional big mac. The cashier is a pale Muslim girl, chubby and cute, and I imagine she’s a model student, hard worker and probably has a hairy pussy and I wonder what it smells like, if it smells bad, like rotten onions, or when was the last time she took a shower or a shit and what color panties she has on and if they’re silky or sweaty or shitty or stinky as she bags my fries and asks me what sauce I want for my nuggets. “Uhmmmmm, is there a teriyaki one?” knowing full well there fucking isn’t . She says as much so I say, “I guess I’ll take a barbecue, then” as I smile at her, fake defeated, and she smiles back, obligatorily, while blinking her bushy eyebrows, a set of chubby young tits hidden behind her hideous McDonald’s uniform blouse.
She says ‘we’re just waiting on your macs, sir’ and for me to step down to the side so she can take the next order and as I stare at her I imagine us having rough sex, tearing holes in her uniform, in her pants, and then fucking her through the holes as she slaps and laughs at me and I start to get a hard on so I take out my phone and go on Instagram and look at pictures of puppies, dank memes, anything to make my hard on go away until finally she says, “here you are, sir,” and I grab my food and diet coke abruptly and stalk back off to the car.
my eyes started to cross and my vision blurred. By the time it was over and my sight had returned the entire room was full of dead Brazilian tranny whores and had that burnt plastic smell of someone smoking crack out of a broken light bulb and also I was crying. That was the day I decided to step down as the commissioner of the MTA.