the good news is my testicular cancer has gone into remission. the bad news is I’m going to murder my wife and stepson in their sleep tonight. I’ll do it after watching Anderson Cooper on CNN. i’ll masturbate to him interviewing Bernie Sanders and right when Bernie says, “taxation is the price you pay for living in a civilization” is when i’ll cum. Then once I’ve expelled the toxic masculinity out of me, i’ll murder my adopted stepson little Deandre Marquis, via strangulation, while wearing vegan leather gloves so as to A. not leave any prints on him and B. not harm any animals. I don’t want Deandre Marquis to scream and wake up his mother Imani so I’ll punch him in the face first, making sure to knock him out, before i strangle the life from his poor marginalized body. Before i move on to Imani i’ll pack a quick Bathing Ape duffel bag with just the essentials: a dozen american apparel vegan organic v necks made from sustainably farmed virgin hand spun cotton, an autographed copy of George Clooneys revised and updated biography: George Clooney: The Last Great Movie Star, my 16 inch nitrile powder free extra girthy black dildo, plenty of sea salt sprinkled soy protein crisps, six pairs of APC raw denim jeans that i haven’t been able to break in yet, my $650 limited edition onitsuka tigers designed by Jean Paul Gaultier and the estrogen pills I have to take as part of my state mandated emasculation. Once I’ve packed all that i’ll murder Imani, also via strangulation, while wearing the same vegan leather gloves. I’ll make sure her clothes stay on so as to not accidentally rape her while i kill her. Then i’ll take out the recyclables and start charging the electric car for the long drive down to the St. Obama Mexico State Gender Reassignment and Abortion Center of the People’s Republic of America where i’ll begin my new life as the woman i could never be while still pretending to function in this heteronormative family unit.
feel hungry then notice i haven’t blinked for the past half hour and the pages of my journal are stained with fresh liquid so i take the journal and throw it against the fucking wall then i:
- do weird shit to my dick,
- blink uncontrollably like a fucking retard,
- squeeze my ass and rub my belly and vice versa
then watch akira in hd and get a hard on when the clowns rip kaori’s shirt off and punch her in the stomach then download super hi res close up images of gaping vaginas and rub my dick painfully onto my computer screen then cum into a styrofoam cup then throw the cup out of the window and watch it slowly float down 6 flights then wait 20 minutes for my slut ex-wife to come and drink it but she never does so i watch 24 hour news instead but only for like five minutes or so.
at 1:30 in the morning the acid kicks in and i start organizing reorganizing the clothes in my closet while grinding my teeth and listening to dubstep on headphones at full volume and when the beat drops i picture:
- myself screaming at the top of my lungs,
- my guts exploding,
- children bathed in blood,
- burning everything down with fire,
- smiling awkwardly while posing for a picture next to my father’s tombstone when i was 15 as he rotted in the soil directly underneath my feet.
then i start to see the lights:
- strobe lights,
- flashing lights,
- neon lights,
- streaks of light going in every direction that all intersect at the crossroads of nothing and forever.
then i organize reorganize the massive porno collection on my computer and jerk off for 3 hours straight but i can’t seem to come but then all of a sudden i manage to come out of nowhere even though i’m not even jerking off and my dick isn’t hard.
then i take a shower but i can’t feel the water so i take its word for it and look at the water with my eyes closed while scrubbing my asshole clean with unscented soap.