Bowl hit for breakfast takes the edge off mediocrity i squeeze my tits together as i buy a newport loosie at the bodega but the arab doesn’t notice me, no one ever does as i prowl the streets hunting for half smoked cigarette butts, the occasional joint roach or tiny drug baggies filled with coke, molly or heroin residue. On cropsey avenue a bicyclist gets hit by a garbage truck and it takes a lot of effort not to get a hard on as i watch the twitching body lying in a wet red pool as a bunch of old russian guys film the whole thing on their smart phones. 20 minutes later the ambulance comes and i notice both EMT’s have cheetos dust all over their hero costumes. The fat garbage man who was driving the truck is saying, “i dindu nuffin wron” to an equally bloated cop whose bulging pelvis is barely contained in his own hero blouse, his pants zipper open with dried cum and piss stains all over the crotch.
at a border crossing in peru a chubby young woman adorned with stretchmarks and an underdeveloped labia was caught attempting to smuggle drugs by stuffing a roll of them in her cunt. those drugs ended up becoming the 44th president of the untied states, mr president barack hussein obama II. lets play the prime time news drinking game every time they twist the reality narrative to suit the advertisers you have to kill yourself. the brain tumor might be cancerous i dunno cant afford the brain scan that i need to get it checked out anyway the less you know the less likely you are to die more or less
the McDonald’s mating dance ritual is when you go to McDonald’s and like a predator, like a hound toothed sexual predator, you scope out the trashiest, thiccest milf you can find. Once you’ve identified her, approach cautiously and walk around her in a counterclockwise fashion (but always mindful that you’re facing mecca) with your hands on your hips (flamboyant sassy gay black guy). Walk around her in a circle like this for 5 minutes. If she hasn’t called the police yet, go behind her, drop to your knees, grab her hips and shove your face DEEP into her ass. Once your nose is firmly planted near her asshole, proceed to take deep, huge, greedy breaths of air. If she farts on your face while you’re doing this, then congrats! she has accepted you as a suitable mate. Go to the cashier and ask for the Manager, Cedric. For a nominal fee of $666 he will grant you a marriage certificate, full SNAP benefits and one complimentary session at the St. Obama Fertility Center of the People’s Republic of New York.
dreams fade away in synch with channels changing. on channel 5 flashing images of scrawny black kids wearing huge over-sized tuxedos spliced with hardcore gay amputee porno, boy CNN is really letting its programming go. keep the volume on mute to concentrate on melting into the void further.
As soon as I get home I turn on my computer and weed vaporizer and then devour two big macs, fries and nuggets in less than 4 minutes. It’s 2:39 in the morning and I feel nauseous and dizzy. I go to my computer and check craigslist to see if Suzie’s ad is still there and it is and I feel sad thinking about her having fun and squirting all over some other creep that she’s picked up on some dark perverted, fringe of the web.
Once my vaporizer is warmed up to 371 degrees I use it to inflate a big balloons worth of pot vapor then take huge pulls off it while cruising pornhub for videos of girls farting or pissing in spandex, sharting, shitting in panties or generally wearing dirty panties and I end up finding and downloading about 50 or so clips. Pornhub ends up taking a lot longer than I want and by the time I look at the clock again it’s almost 4 in the morning and I’ve vaped another 3 balloons worth of pot vapor on autopilot.
I jerk off to porn of a blonde MILF who slightly resembles Suzie, this one also squirts but her name is Brianna and she rubs her pussy in the video and fucks herself with a purple, conical shaped dildo while having a pink butt plug up her ass. She stands right over the camera when she squirts and it drips down onto and all over the lens and as I cum I start to strangle myself with my left hand and imagine drowning to death and only when my eyes start to roll up and I almost pass out do I take another breath.