I’m gonna kill myself this time, I swear it. But first I just wanna use the bathroom to pee. And also I’d like to perfectly arrange all the shoes in my closet by size, color and brand just one last time. Then I’m going to kill myself for sure. Although I did want to get caught up on some TV shows. And jerk off. But before I do that I should probably download the newest MomPOV porn clips. OK, so in an hour, after those are done downloading, and 2 minutes after that when I’m done jerking off, I’ll kill myself. I do tend to get hungry after jerking off though. Maybe I’ll get some taco’s first. Although I’ll probably end up overeating again, at which point I’ll be too full to kill myself, so I’ll have to smoke a little pot to soothe my fat bloated stomach. And since I’ll be getting high i might as well start watching those TV shows but half way through watching I’ll probably get horny and have to jerk off again but this time I won’t download any new mompov porn, this way it’ll take probably take closer to 5 minutes to finish instead of the usual 2, and as soon as I’m done doing all that… then I’ll kill myself.
…Although back to back jerk off sessions do seem to make me very tired. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep after. Then when I wake up, that’ll be the perfect time to kill myself. But then it’ll be time for work and my work ethic is so great and I don’t like to let my underappreciative boss down so I guess maybe I’ll just work the day out. Then when I get home I’ll finally kill myself.
But first I’ll probably have to pee again.

then i look at gore on the internet and get on a huge ISIS kick and watch videos of:

  • them playing soccer with severed heads,
  • children decapitating men,
  • men getting their hands cut off by huge rusty scimitars in front of like a million people in some shithole dusty town square in Assfuckistan

and

  • endless montages of them firing big guns and missiles at nothing in particular and saying ‘allahu akbar allahu akbar’ while doing the running man and other culturally outdated dance moves as their hadji nightmare theme music plays.

then i stumble on a bunch of snackbar fails which are like terrorist blooper videos of when their cannons and mortars backfire and they blow themselves up by accident and it’s hysterical and i laugh hysterically every time one of them dies. It’s fucking hysterical.