As soon as I get home I turn on my computer and weed vaporizer and then devour two big macs, fries and nuggets in less than 4 minutes. It’s 2:39 in the morning and I feel nauseous and dizzy. I go to my computer and check craigslist to see if Suzie’s ad is still there and it is and I feel sad thinking about her having fun and squirting all over some other creep that she’s picked up on some dark perverted, fringe of the web.
Once my vaporizer is warmed up to 371 degrees I use it to inflate a big balloons worth of pot vapor then take huge pulls off it while cruising pornhub for videos of girls farting or pissing in spandex, sharting, shitting in panties or generally wearing dirty panties and I end up finding and downloading about 50 or so clips. Pornhub ends up taking a lot longer than I want and by the time I look at the clock again it’s almost 4 in the morning and I’ve vaped another 3 balloons worth of pot vapor on autopilot.
I jerk off to porn of a blonde MILF who slightly resembles Suzie, this one also squirts but her name is Brianna and she rubs her pussy in the video and fucks herself with a purple, conical shaped dildo while having a pink butt plug up her ass. She stands right over the camera when she squirts and it drips down onto and all over the lens and as I cum I start to strangle myself with my left hand and imagine drowning to death and only when my eyes start to roll up and I almost pass out do I take another breath.

then i look at gore on the internet and get on a huge ISIS kick and watch videos of:

  • them playing soccer with severed heads,
  • children decapitating men,
  • men getting their hands cut off by huge rusty scimitars in front of like a million people in some shithole dusty town square in Assfuckistan


  • endless montages of them firing big guns and missiles at nothing in particular and saying ‘allahu akbar allahu akbar’ while doing the running man and other culturally outdated dance moves as their hadji nightmare theme music plays.

then i stumble on a bunch of snackbar fails which are like terrorist blooper videos of when their cannons and mortars backfire and they blow themselves up by accident and it’s hysterical and i laugh hysterically every time one of them dies. It’s fucking hysterical.